When we think about education, academic achievement and standardized test scores often come to mind.

While these are undoubtedly important, there's a growing recognition that traditional education fails to equip students with crucial life skills.

This educational gap—particularly in relationship skills—leaves many young adults unprepared for the challenges of real-world interactions.

Enter Relational Intelligence (RIQ), a program designed to bridge this gap by teaching students the emotional and social intelligence needed for lifelong success.

The Educational Disconnect

Traditional education emphasizes subjects based on cognitive skills, and abstract skills such as reasoning and critical thinking. However, the development of emotional and social skills—vital components of relational intelligence—often takes a backseat. This disconnect is quite problematic, especially considering that relational intelligence may be the largest factor contributing to whether a young adult is ...

When George Vaillant first took over the Harvard Study of Adult Development in 1972, he had no idea the profound truth it would reveal.

The study, which began tracking 268 Harvard sophomores in 1938, has become one of the longest studies of adult life ever conducted.

Over 80 years, researchers meticulously collected data on the physical and mental health of the participants. 

What Vaillant and his team discovered was surprising.

The clearest message that emerged from the tens of thousands of pages of data was this:
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

The Power of Connection:

The Harvard study revealed that the quality of our relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of health at age 80 than cholesterol levels, exercise habits, or even IQ. Those who were most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Conversely, those who were in unhappy relationships or were lonely had declining health earlier in midlife and ev...

When Ethan started his freshman year at a prestigious university, he thought he had it all figured out...

With a stellar high school academic record and an impressive list of extracurriculars, he was ready to take on the world.

But as the semester progressed, Ethan found himself struggling. 

Despite his intellectual prowess, he felt isolated and disconnected from his peers. Group projects were a nightmare, and his roommate conflicts escalated. Ethan's mental health began to suffer, and his grades started to slip. He had the academic skills, but he lacked the relational intelligence to thrive in his new environment.

Ethan's story is not unique. 

Today's young adults are facing a mental health crisis of unprecedented proportions.

According to a recent study by the CDC, more than 40% of high school students experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, a staggering increase from 26% in 2011.

Nearly 25% made a suicide plan, and 10% attempted suicide. 

These a...

The U.S. Surgeon General's warning in 2023 cast a spotlight on a silent epidemic sweeping across America—an epidemic of loneliness—likening its health impact to smoking daily. This critical issue underscores a significant public health priority, resonating with the core of human bonds and relationships. This is a realm that I have studied and nurtured for over two decades.

And this issue is not limited to the United States, it is being felt around the globe. Both Japan and the U.K. have formally appointed national Ministers of Loneliness to help their government more fully address the problem. 

Loneliness and isolation gnaw at nearly half of the individuals in the United States, bringing grave health consequences akin to those of chronic diseases. Loneliness has been linked to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, but also to a myriad of physical health issues. Not only can it increase one’s risk of severe illness, it can also decrease resilience to physical challenges...

The signs and symptoms of physical abuse are obvious and concrete, but the signs of emotional abuse are insidious and hidden to the eye. For this reason, many people underestimate the devastating and lasting effects of emotional abuse. In this article, we will explore the signs of emotional abuse and manipulation, the impact they can have on individuals, and how to protect yourself from these toxic behaviors.

Common Tactics Used in Emotional Abuse and Manipulation

To effectively combat emotional abuse and manipulation, it is crucial to understand the dynamics at play. Emotional abuse is about power and control. Remember, in a healthy relationship, both people have the capacity to respect multiple subjectivities. That means that both people understand that each individual has their own set of feelings, perceptions, needs and desires that are worthy of respect and consideration, and that they are bound to differ. Both people work to respect the subjectivity of one another. 

In an abus...

A certain level of anxiety is normal, but here's how to calm down when it gets overwhelming.

Anxiety is a normal part of life, as well as a highly normal part of dating.

Why is dating and relationship anxiety so normal?....

It doesn't have to stress you out.

Why is writing an online dating profile so difficult and anxiety inducing?

This necessary first step in the dating dance often feels loaded because you are painting the first impression that any potential love interest will see.

You are essentially saying, “Hey, stranger, please judge me! (And, um, please judge that I’m good for you!)”

And knowing how to overcome anxiety in order to write an effective dating profile for apps like Tinder, Bumble or Hinge is, like it or not, something you need to do if you want to find true love....

Are you anxious in your approach to love? 

About 25% of the population approaches bonding with what scientists refer to as an anxious attachment style. 

In the article What Is Anxious Attachment Style & How Can It Affect A Relationship, I walked you through an understanding of how this particular attachment style lends itself to predictable obstacles. Understanding who you are and what you need in any relationship is enormously empowering. 

Let’s take this a step further and examine what to do about it when you’re dating!

If you know you are anxiously attached (not sure, take my Love Thyself course and I’ll walk you through all of that and much more!), you have a relatively hard time trusting, feeling safe, secure and loved.

Nonetheless, your ability and need to have a secure relationship can and should be met. 

To get there, here are your basic rules of the road: 

1. Get help learning to tolerate reasonable amounts of aloneness. 

If you are constantly ru...

Attachment Theory is the scientific map of how we bond with others to increase our chances of survival!  As mammals, we quite literally depend on emotional bonds with others to survive. Scientific studies have continued to underscore that the warmth and quality of our connections is the number one factor predictive of quality of life, longevity, and is even a huge factor in financial stability.

Scientists divide the styles that people adopt to bond into roughly 4 categories. About 50% of the population had a development such that they bond in a “secure style.” The other 50% of the population develop attachment styles such as avoidant, anxious or disorganized. 

An anxious attachment style describes a person who finds it very difficult to rest in feelings of safety and security. Wondering if this is you? 

Do you: 

• Feel heightened, uncomfortable anxiety when separating from your partner?

• Find being alone to be highly uncomfortable for you?

• Wonder constant...

Trust yourself.

Your inner monologue is helpful not only in relationship to better understanding yourself; it can also reveal your state of being — I.e., the quality of your present experience — in your relationship.

This state of being can help you discern whether the kind of thoughts you're having may be signs you're involved in an unhealthy, perhaps even toxic, relationship.

Unhealthy relationships are characterized by insecurity, distrust, preoccupation and disconnection....