I know you want to be a mature partner and to feel confident in your relationship choices to bond and grow through your life.
You want to feel clear and confident navigating your past and your emotional experience and making sense of or learning from past relationships.
You know that you need to "love yourself first" to feel confident in the world of dating, relationships and marriage.
But what does it mean to "love yourself"?.
It means being able to digest and narrate your attachment history,
And it means developing a healthy attitude towards and relationship with your own emotional life.
Maybe you saw your parents, other marriages, and your own relationships be hit or miss. Often failing, tragically, with grave consequences. And now you may feel afraid to get into a real relationship, for fear of getting hurt, or failing.
If this is you, then you’re not alone.
No one taught you the truth about how relationships work - what doesn’t work, how to avoid constant conflict or resentment or loneliness in relationships. Think about it, relationships are the most important and likely most complex area of life and yet we receive NO education about how they work or how to prepare for one.
But here’s the good news. Once you discover the science-based principles of bonding, and develop the skills to heal from past trauma, then you can approach relationships with a real map.
When you have mastered your own attachment history, you'll be equipped to approach dating, relationships, and even conflict with respect and grace.
When someone tells their partner to "go to therapy," they usually mean to do this particular work.
With this new map, you’ll no longer be wandering aimlessly around in the dark; and you can go forward with the peace that you HAVE done your own work!
That’s why I created ReWiring the Self, the first online, experiential course that will guide you through your identity, a healthy relationship to your emotions, and your past.
My promise to you is that you will get the clarity and confidence to navigate your relationship world, unshackling you from your past.
You will feel at peace knowing that our true nature is relatedness, and that you can express your nature freely, respectfully and honestly in a balanced partnership, in parenthood and in friendships.
By the end of this course, you will feel confident in knowing that you can have a life in which solid, secure, creative relationships are the foundation and in abundance.
As a psychologist, psychoanalyst, author and teacher, I have studied emotional wellbeing and the mind-body connection for more than 25 years. When I look back on the turning points in my life and career, each has led me deeper into understanding that our essential nature is as relational creatures.
Looking back, it is clear that my own wound was indeed a “sacred wound” – the wound that, when embraced, becomes a doorway to our sacred gifts. I have a fundamental attachment trauma - I was adopted at birth. From a young age this both created pain, confusion, and sparked my curiosity to understand the inner world; I explored biology, psychobiology, transpersonal psychology, attachment theory and eventually psychoanalysis out of this need to understand.
Along the way I learned to heal my own trauma through the power of loving relationships and the insights of depth therapy. But it didn’t go smoothly. I learned over decades and through painful personal trial and error to get clarity on the simple, yet profound, fundamentals of healthy bonds.
I realized that when we understand these principles we have a map for the complex and multi-dimensional world of relationships!
I used these principles to do my own healing work, to learn to choose a partner wisely, and to develop thriving, lifelong bonds with family, my children, my partner and even friendships. These principles have helped my students and my patients to transform their self-identity and their relationship life.
Many of my patients have expressed the sentiment: “Why didn’t someone teach me this when I was 20 (or 30”) ?!?" This course is a response to that sentiment. I am providing the condensed and user-friendly knowledge of my decades of personal experience, education, and clinical practice.
It is everything I wish I had known at 20 and hope that generations can utilize this knowledge to bypass decades of unnecessary suffering caused by a lack of information and guidance.
From birth our very existence depends on our ability to attach to caregivers, and throughout life the single largest factor predicting our wellbeing is the quality of our relationships.
Let me teach you how to navigate the world of relationships with intelligence, compassion, responsibility and clarity-- starting with a healthy relationship to your self and your past!
In this course you will develop your Relationship Map, like a map with topographic layers.
You will lay the foundation with the research-based principles that govern emotional life and bonding.
You will layer your individual history, needs and dreams onto this map in a way that is personal to you and to the person you choose to connect with.
This map allows for you to heal what needs to be healed and enter into a bond that is set up to succeed!
We begin with a healthy YOU! This section looks at the question “who am I,” to develop a healthy sense of identity from multiple dimensions that builds a healthy foundation to enter partnership.
Here you will discover:
I will guide you through an exploration of navigating your personal attachment (bonding) history. You will learn how your own story allows for the establishment of secure bonds. We cannot establish secure, thriving bonds if we do not digest our own history!
Here you will discover:
Success stories of clients who have worked with Dr. Elisha and the Relationships Rewired program.
Linda went from feeling stuck, angry and scared that she was repeating patterns to happily married with children! . . . Linda came to me while "on a break" from her current boyfriend, and knowing that she kept choosing emotionally unavailable men who abused or overused alcohol. However, she had a “secret” longing for closeness and connection and – she was ashamed to admit – commitment!
As she worked on her attachment history it became clear that she had enormous unmet needs as a child and experienced her natural, healthy longing for closeness as “needy” and insatiable. She discovered that when she came close to someone she felt that she had to “trap” them into loving and staying with her, and was pushing away the very safety and security she craved.
As she learned to understand her need for closeness to be healthy and natural, her shame lifted. This helped her to undo her sabotaging approach to relationships and transformed her current relationship into a secure bond. Her ability to handle her own emotional life and needs in a productive way naturally evolved her relationship into a commitment
As her unconscious fears shifted away, she began to see that her current boyfriend truly was available to meet her needs. They are now happily married with their second child.
Zach went from feeling entirely lost and lonely in his marriage to feeling clear and confident about his needs and his emotional life! … Zach came to me to understand why he was having an affair in his marriage of 20 years, and whether he was able – or even wanted – to heal his marriage. Zach realized that he had entered adulthood with no map of relationship and had chosen and created a dynamic that possessed none of the qualities of a secure bond. In fact, his marriage had several hallmarks of a toxic relationship.
Equipped with a map of secure bonds, he was able to identify and come to peace with the reality that he and his wife and their child would be better served by a divorce. Zach then endeavored to develop a new relationship to his own emotional life, which had prior been non-existent! He had learned to “buck up” and ignore all feelings!
He was then able to create a relationship that truly served his emotional nature and in which she felt truly alive for the first time in his life!
Penny went from emotionally isolated, confused and lost to feeling fully vibrant and clear about her needs and how to establish trust and security in a committed relationship! … Penny, came to me following the painful breakup of her first “serious” relationship. Given the scarcity of her long-term relationships, despite plenty of opportunities, she was aware that she had a block towards commitment and settling down, which mystified her as she consciously wanted so much to form a secure bond.
Investigating her attachment history, we understood that she was avoidantly attached and disassociated from emotional trauma that had been severely minimized in importance.
Knowing this, and identifying what a secure attachment looked and felt like, she finally felt confident and empowered to choose a partner. She now knew what he needed to feel safe and trusting.
She redefined her belief systems about herself, relationships, men and bonding. She was no longer unconsciously working at odds with her conscious goals. She has been able to move forward into a satisfying, trusting relationship.
14 Training Videos
Each module for the course has 7 short, easy to watch training videos that cover all of the material you need to master the content. These training videos prep you to complete the transformational exercises, provide real life examples, and give you the science-based education you need to build your Relationship Map. You can listen to these videos anywhere, on the go, at home, all at once or one at a time in a way that fits your schedule.
Exercises & Reflection Questions
Each session comes with 1-3 exercises to put your learning into action. These exercises are journaling or personal reflection, exercises to do with a partner or friend, and tracking exercises to strengthen your emotional muscles and insight capacity. These exercises are the means to turn the content into personal transformation: from “knowledge” to “experiential knowing.” This process allows you to actually see and understand your relationship life from an entirely new perspective.
Each module includes a downloadable .PDF workbook with the exercises outlined for you. This workbook will guide you to complete your exercises and personal reflections to ensure that the learning is transformational and personal to you. You can keep this workbook either digitally or hard copy as long as you would like and can add to and evolve your reflections over as much time as you find useful.
Lifetime Access to All Materials
All course videos, workbooks and bonus trainings are available for lifetime access. Never worry about missing a session, working at your own pace, or returning to any module at different points in your life when working with different phases of relationships. All materials will be available to refer to, refresh yourself on, or share with important people in your life.
Opportunity to Connect 1:1 with Dr. Elisha
If you would benefit from a personal coaching call or video session with Dr. Elisha, you can use this time to get personalized feedback and guidance with any course material. Sometimes an outside, experienced perspective can help you to clarify or see from a fresh perspective. Individual calls are $250/hour and can also be used to help you clarify if or when you could benefit from ongoing therapy, and to locate a professional who is appropriately trained to do this work with you.
Dr. Elisha is a psychologist and psychoanalyst – meaning that she has the most in-depth training available – to treat the whole of a personality, getting to the root of relational difficulties and healing one’s identity.
She has worked for more than two decades in mind-body integration and relational wellness for her patients in private practice: Depth Therapy. Through this work she has distilled a fundamental wisdom about the relational nature that underlies wellbeing and life satisfaction, and has helped thousands of people to heal their past wounds and manifest the future they deserve.
She is the author of The Conscious Body and has taught postgraduate courses for many years throughout Southern California. She currently lives and works in Aspen, Colorado with her family and extended family.
Her deep understanding of how attachment relationships shape our feelings about ourselves, the world, and our expectations about relationships can help YOU excel in intimate relationships.
You will be connecting with Dr. Elisha and the other participants via a video conference call each week. You will have exclusive access to the course website which houses all of the materials in the course including training videos, workbooks, recordings of the group calls, documents, templates, PDfs, etc. This will be a highly engaging, real time experience that you can access and utilize for a lifetime.
No. Just a computer or mobile device with an internet connection.
Yes! The material is a great conversation starter and conversation guide for two people working to create or improve a thriving partnership.
This course is not therapy and does not replace therapy; it is transformative education that gives many people the tools they need to do their own self growth work and/or dramatically accelerates any therapeutic process.
The content of the course represents material that is covered in any good psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, attachment-based therapy and gives you the tools to empower you to do vast amounts of healing and growth work. If you have a therapist, this will accentuate and accelerate your work. If you are considering entering therapy, this will immensely help you know what you need in therapy, how to select a competent therapist, and where to begin. If you have already done therapy but still feel stuck in relationship patterns, this course will equip you with the education and mindset needed to continue your own growth and evolution.
This course is for you if you value connection in your life and want to maximize the quality of connections across all areas of your life. If you feel stuck, or ashamed, or afraid of forming deeper connections, this course is for you. Whether you are starting out on your adult life or reflecting on a lifetime of relationship experience, there is something here for you to learn and grow from. This course is made for singles, couples, married people and divorced people who want to do relationships well!
Out of a deep respect for your privacy we are not utilizing a social media forum to contain this process. Participants will have the option of an assigned partner in the course with whom to share and reflect on your workbook process. We do have a Facebook platform where we will share educational material, updates, useful links and resources. This is not designed for personal processing, as it is not a closed group. We absolutely encourage you to share and practice but also to do so with people whom you have a knowledge of, and therefore do not feel that social media is the best forum for this! The live calls ARE a place to ask questions and for feedback around your process!