Welcome to Depth Therapy, the place to Re-Wire Your Relationships for success. When we get to the heart of your heart with the penetrating understanding of Depth Therapy, you will transform your history into a depth of understanding and skill that empowers you to create the relational life you need.
Do you know what is Depth Therapy, and how can it serve you? Depth Therapy is the research-based knowledge necessary to succeed in relationships. Depth therapy is a term to describe therapy based on the notion that our minds are made up largely of unconscious and subconscious parts. If your mind is like a triangle, scientists estimate that the conscious part takes up a tiny portion of about 5-7% at the top of the triangle! This is why many intelligent, educated thoughtful people get stuck making changes in their lives. There are many, many challenges we’ve all worked through on our own, without the help of a therapist or psychologist. When people come to me, it is typically because there are conflicts that they cannot resolve, and some portion of this conflict resides in the unconscious mind.
One of the tricks about our unconscious mind is that it is extremely challenging to see with our own eyes! What we don’t know directly about ourselves is usually reflected back at us through life experiences and relationships, and the more outside of our awareness these parts are, the more disruptive or disconcerting these experiences can be. When you get into a stuck place with a friend, lover or family member, the problem is that you both have your unconscious forces at play, so it’s quite tricky to figure out what you don’t know about yourself!
A therapeutic relationship with a psychoanalyst (depth therapist) is a relationship in which the therapist is trained first and foremost in their own unconscious and also in the means to see and hear the unconscious at work. So as a psychoanalyst I’ve spent years in my own therapy and analysis, learning firsthand how my own unconscious tends to work, and also how it feels when there are unconscious forces at play in a relationship. My therapy taught me how to constructively work with these experiences in a partnership with another. This is the unique training of a psychoanalyst, which takes year and often decades to complete. So, when you see a psychoanalyst, you are employing someone who quite literally has the most extensive training in the field. We are guaranteed to have done our own analysis, and we are trained not just in psychological symptoms such as depression, or trauma, etc., but rather we are trained in character development. This means, and I’ll explain more on this later, that we treat the whole person in the context of their individual life, unique gifts, particular challenges, and structure of their life. We look at the whole rather than the parts; the psychological equivalent to functional medicine.
Now I’d like to dispel a few common notions about depth therapy or psychoanalysis. If you’ve seen therapy portrayed in the movies you’ve likely seen the cliché of the analyst sitting stone-faced behind the couch, muttering one-word responses every once in a while! Nothing could be further from the truth. A psychoanalyst is someone who is trained to engage deeply in an actual relationship with you. This is not a friendship, nor is it a business relationship. The analytic relationship is a paradox and unlike any other relationship. We have certain boundaries about time, privacy, money and attitude that make it possible to go to these dynamic emotional places together. The relationship is quite personal, and each therapeutic relationship is unique in ways defined by the two people involved.
If you would like to understand how Depth Therapy is the missing link in relational wellness, please read ahead about attachment and neuropsychoanalysis, which sheds some more light on the nature of the therapeutic relationship but most importantly how the knowledge of depth therapy is a missing link in relationship education and relationship wellness! I hope this has helped you understand what it is that I do, what depth therapy is, and how it might help you achieve personal and relational wellness.
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Welcome to Relationships RE-Wired